Blackmail and Brunch
by fakeorganisms
Summary: Santiago, Brittany and Kurt go for brunch, much to Santiago's frustrations. He's too tired but Brittany always knows how to get her own way. A fluffy one-shot from All Paths Lead To You Verse. Based on the prompt: "some fluffy Kurt, San, Britt time". Genderswap!Santana.


"Saaannn," I heard Brittany whisper my name as she tapped my nose. I was trying my best to ignore her, I was far too tired to wake up just yet. I pulled her closer into me and kissed where I imagined her lips to be. I ended up kissing her eye. It made her laugh delightedly.

" 'm tired," my voice was groggy from sleep. We'd had a late night last night and I was still recovering.

Brittany pushed her chest into mine and I groaned at the feel of her breasts against me.

"Nuh g'na work," I spoke into the pillow. I knew she was trying to entice me to wake up by turning me on. I was determined to hold out.

She gently ran her nipples over my chest and tickled over my stomach with her fingers. I could feel myself harden even further. Stupid morning wood ruining my plans.

"I think someone is already happy this morning," she cupped my dick and I jerked forward into her hand. Fuck.

My eyes popped open and her smiling face came into view, a little blurry around the edges.

"You better be able to follow through Britt," I moaned, knowing full well that she had no intention of making me come.

She turned away and moved out of my arms, causing me to protest loudly.

"No, come back," I complained, missing her closeness and warmth already. The feel of her soft skin against mine always made me content.

She turned back around with my glasses in her hand, smiling wryly.

I sat up and put them on, smiling in thanks.

"Now, get up and get ready. Kurt is meeting us here before brunch." She got out of the bed and stretched, pushing her ass in my direction.

"What are you doing to me?" I was horny as hell and she wasn't helping the situation.

"Eventually you're going to have to start sorting your morning wood out by yourself. I've spoiled you," she clicked her tongue off the roof her mouth and pointed her finger accusingly at me. It was true though, she was always more than willing to help me out in the mornings when my cock was on full alert. I was definitely spoiled. But I was sure to return the favor. It usually led to us being late to… well, most things.

"Fine," I huffed and made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower, after which I felt a little better and a little less horny.

I walked into our small kitchen where Britt was pouring two glasses of juice.

"Here you go sexy, some OJ for my OG," she winked as she handed me the glass.

"Damn right." I swallowed the juice in one gulp and smacked my lips together at the sweet yet bitter taste.

"Yep, you're definitely still my gangster," she wiped the juice off the top of my lip with her thumb and fixed my glasses. Her tone was laced with fondness and sarcasm.

"And you're still my down ass chick," I pulled her into me for a kiss.

"Mmm, you taste nice," she licked her lips before she sipped on her own juice, "even nicer than what's in this."

"Well, no one can resist the taste of The Don Lopez. It's like, impossible." I stepped closer and nudged her so that she was leaning against the fridge.

"Really?" her breath was warm on my face.

"Yeah, really," I moved to close the distance between us when the doorbell rang and shattered the moment.

"I guess I'll be the first then," Brittany shrugged and shoved me away, stepping past to me to answer the door.

I groaned in frustration. Kurt was always the biggest cockblock ever.

* * *

We were sitting in a small diner that lay hidden away from the hustle and bustle of the main streets. Brittany was crazy about the pancakes here and Kurt raved about the free range, organic egg white omelets. I usually got whatever special was on offer, which today was the Tex-Mex scramble. It was always busy but the staff managed to stay level headed and pleasant.

"I am so glad we're finally meeting up. It's been so long," Kurt said from across the table where he was delicately cutting up his omelet into bite sized pieces.

"Uh we saw you like five days ago," I reminded him. In fact, we had a double date with him and his new flavor of the month. Ever since he broke up with Blaine, he was making the most of the Los Angeles gay scene.

"Yeah well, Fabio wasn't exactly great conversation," he dismissed as Brittany shot a glare in my direction. She and Kurt were always ganging up on me.

"Don't mind him Kurt, I know what you mean. It's been too long since the three of us hung out together," she was still glaring at me as she said it.

"It's ok Britt. I know Santiago is in a bad mood today and I'm not even sorry for interrupting you '_getting your mack on''_, "he air quoted," because you guys are constantly going at it so frankly it would be a miracle if I wasn't interrupting something." Kurt's voice got higher as he ranted and it felt like I was being told off my by parents. I ignored them as I ate my food.

"Santiago, stop ignoring Kurt," Brittany scolded with a light slap on my leg.

I rolled my eyes and apologized. Kurt grinned at Brittany as she nodded her head in approval. If I had any shred of dignity left, I probably would've been embarrassed by how under the thumb I was.

They continued their conversation as I tuned out and stuffed my face. Brittany's hand was tickling my thigh distractedly as she told Kurt about the new routine she was working on in her class and the problems she was having with one of the other instructors. It was like they were the couple and I was the odd one out. The thought made me sigh loudly and grumble.

Brittany looked at me in confusion before realization sparked in her eyes.

"Awwww, my baby is jealous," she cooed through a chuckle.

"What? No I'm not," I dropped my fork and crossed my arms.

"This is too precious. He's acting like a petulant child." Kurt clapped his hands excitedly.

"I'm not. I'm just tired," I was starting to blush because I realized I was jealous. It came out of nowhere and I hadn't even noticed it until Britt pointed it out.

"My big, strong man wants my attention." Brittany squeezed my cheek and poked me in the stomach.

"No I don't. It's not like I care that you're telling Kurt about things you haven't even told me yet," I blurted before cringing at my revelation.

"Santiago Lopez, I never thought I'd see you so… so…. ADORABLE," Kurt shrieked excitedly.

Brittany laughed and cuddled into my side, dropping butterfly kiss onto my neck.

"I was telling both of you. It's not my fault you were sulking," her voice was airy and light.

"I'm just cranky," I admitted. I had woken up horny and really tired and it put me in a bad mood.

"It's ok, I'll cheer you up later. We can have a nap and then I'll let you have your wicked way with me," Brittany was smirking naughtily.

"Please refrain from sex talk at the table. I have prayed for the day that you both lose your libido." Kurt put his fingers in his ears and started humming a tune to block us out. I leaned over the table and knocked his elbow off of it, causing him to jolt back into his seat and squeal.

"Wow Kurt, that was impressively girly," I commented dryly.

"Kurt's right, we need to be more respectful while we're around him. Just like when he practically got to third base with Fabio in the back of your car." She challenged Kurt with a raised eyebrow. He squirmed in his seat before blowing out a breath and raising his arms in defeat, "I suppose that little indiscretion hasn't been forgotten then?" he asked.

"I had to go get my eyeballs bleached, dude. I could've spent the rest of my days without seeing the Italian Stallion's junk and been a very happy man." I shuddered at the memory.

"In my defense, I have been subjected to a lot more than that over the years." He pointed out truthfully.

"Well then let's just say we're even," Brittany spoke through a mouthful of pancake.

"We are far from even Brittany. I still have nightmares about Santiago's orgasm face." Kurt looked ill at the thought. I have to admit, I was a little offended.

"But it's so cute. The way his nose goes all wrinkly and his mouth opens like he's yawning." Brittany was trying to stick up for me but it wasn't working.

"Britt!" I hissed, pulling her face into my chest to shut her up.

"Thanks Brittany, I was almost afraid I would eventually forget the horrifying image." Kurt was obviously unimpressed as Brittany giggled into my chest.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize I was so unattractive," I scrunched my face up in annoyance.

"Yeah, it's almost like that," Brittany pointed at me and Kurt gagged, "you just gotta open your mouth," she pulled my chin and lowered my jaw, "Now! That's your cum face," she unintentionally shouted in her excitement.

The people at the booth beside and in front of us stopped eating to stare at our table. Brittany looked sheepish as she muttered an apology, I dropped my face onto the table and Kurt looked at Brittany in complete and utter disbelief.

As soon as the children at the table beside us asked their mom what a cum face was, we took it as our queue to leave.


End file.
